What I Learned From a Hot Fighter Pilot

When Sexual Chemistry Thrusts You Apart

Wewere on each other as soon as I opened the door. Within minutes, the fighter pilot whom I’ll call “Goose” was making my body come alive in a way that I’d never experienced.

The sex was fast and furious, replete with unselfconsious exclamations of desire in the giving and the taking. Goose was a strong wingman. He came from behind, yelling “Fu*k!” loudly and enthusiastically like a frat boy scoring. The only thing as loud were my own ecstatic cries.

After, when we lay in one another’s arms, sated, we might have been mistaken for lovers. Talking and not talking. The feel of his skin on mine. Our bodies interwoven in the soft light of an early fall day.

Then he was ready for it again. When he climaxed, he brought me with him, despite the forewarning that it probably couldn’t happen this first time.

Within less than a week, I’d discover that Goose wasn’t just my top gun in bed, (albeit from among a smallish number of cadets who had landed there) — he was also the first person to ghost me. That brief, insightful journey is paved with some painful but humorous lessons about the power of sexual chemistry to scare a man away, the lies we can tell when we try to be someone else’s short-term fun, and the transcendent worth of what’s real.

The chemistry emerged on our first and only real date, when Goose, a Southern gentleman and, regrettably, a Harvard man, walked me to my car and I kissed him. Soon we were necking in front of a family with young children.

Wemet on Hinge. His profile was welcome relief for a sore right thumb that had grown tired of swiping left. He was tall, dark, and handsome, seemed smart and adventurous, and like me was navigating dating while parenting. Right swipe.

On our first and only real date, Goose seemed disarmingly honest about many things, including the fact that he had googled me. Despite the occasional question that made me wonder if he was vetting potential dates for the debutante ball, he shared uncannily familiar sentiments about faith and spirituality. He voiced his appreciation for the Serenity Prayer and talked about the spiritual writings of the Catholic priest and contemplative…

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